help to advice my friend.And here is her story!

A couple of years ago I was dating a guy whom I was very deeply in love with. We broke up and we both began seeing over people. Later that year, he found out that he had genital herpes after dating serveral other women. A year later he told me his status, we rekindled the flame and decided to get back together. I was truly in love with him.We had always used condoms and I tested negative for the virus.We talked about getting married but decided that it would be best to continue to use condoms either way. Things didnt work out, so i moved 300 miles away to be with my family.... I took another test and asked specifically that I be tested for herpes. The test was negative. That was 2 years ago... I decided to be alone for awhile.Feeling like I had basicly dodged a bullet.

In September of 2008,I decided to start seeing someone who has had a crush on me for years. For the most part we were happy. Until I found out I was pregnant on a regular "well woman exam". I took him to my second doctors appointment so that he and my 14 year old daughter can hear the baby's heartbeat. Everyone was so excited. I have secretly wanted another child and I really didnt think that was possible. My children will be 15 years apart. We decided that we would move in together. This would be a joyful time of our life.


Once I moved in with my s/o I noticed that we was not quite what he seemed. He would leave in the middle of the night going to the store, stay gone for hours and wouldn't return with anything at all. At first I thought I was placing to much stress on him, then I thought that he was cheating on me. It all became perfectly clear when one night I found him in the the nursey closet smoking crack. I was outraged. I was highly upset. When he saw me and heard my screams of outrage and disgust he lashed out and began calling me a prostitue and all sorts of names of that nature. I have never been or will I ever be anything of that nature. I am actually the opposite of that. I was married for over 10 years. I have a very short list of sex partners.


I packed my bags and I left that instant. I can handle a lot of things but that is just not one of them.I knew he smoked pot and I used to smoke it with him until I got pregnant.It really doesn't bother me as long as he didnt do it around my daughter or blow the smoke directly in my direction.

A few days later I went to my next doctors appointment. The doctor told me that my baby was fine.He went on to inform me that I have been exposed to the herpes virus and that my baby would not be born with herpes. I have to take Valtrex in order to surpress the outbreaks in order to have a safe delivery... Well, I cried all the way to the pharmacy.This not something that I could ignore. I have to make sure that my baby would be safe and wouldn't be born blind or godforbid anything else because of me.

When I got home I called my ex( the one who found out he had herpes years ago)...and left a message. I dont know what I would have said if he had of answered the phone.It doesnt matter anyway....he still hasnt called back( we parted on bad terms)

I have a lot of questions about how to live with this and how I am supposed to tell my child father about this... It has been 3 weeks and I still havent answered his phone calls and this is the first time that I have written or spoke the words.

I am afraid of what his reaction might be. Will he try to kill me or my child? Does he know already and that was why he was calling me those things because he gave it to me?

All I know is that I need some help and all feedback negative or postive will be helpful. I know that I need to reachout and tell this embarrasing status to them but i just don't know how. I never wanted to be the one to pass std's to people. I know i have to tell someone so that it doesnt spread any further, But how????!!! Please help!

I guess you need to have yourself checked coz sometimes herpes virus may lay dormant in you. It is much better to be sure than be sorry later ..

You do not who you could have got this disease from. It lies dormant and as much as doctors say they know about a thing continuing research always has them coming out with something "new". Your new ex has a drug problem that would have him hiding in a closet smoking crack and his reaction, though most likely the drugs and fear talking, make him unsafe to interact with. Still he should know your status, even though it is possible he is the one you could have contracted the disease from. You could may be have a health clinic contact him for you and keep yourself safe from any violent outburst he could have.