http://kisspub.com/ Tue, 07 Sep 2010 10:11:22 +0200 MyBB http://kisspub.com/Thread-Marriage Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:56:47 +0200 http://kisspub.com/Thread-Marriage


Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!

Wife - Do you want me to leave?

Husband - No! Don't even think about it.

Wife - Do you love me?

Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!

Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?

Husband - No! Why are you even asking?

Wife - Will you kiss me?

Husband - Every chance I get!

Wife - Will you hit me?

Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!

Wife - Can I trust you?

Husband - Yes.

Wife - Darling!



AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.]]>


Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait!

Wife - Do you want me to leave?

Husband - No! Don't even think about it.

Wife - Do you love me?

Husband - Of course! Always have and always will!

Wife - Have you ever cheated on me?

Husband - No! Why are you even asking?

Wife - Will you kiss me?

Husband - Every chance I get!

Wife - Will you hit me?

Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?!

Wife - Can I trust you?

Husband - Yes.

Wife - Darling!



AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top.]]> http://kisspub.com/Thread-Sunday-Morning-sex Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:55:30 +0200 http://kisspub.com/Thread-Sunday-Morning-sex Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.' Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny. 'Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.'
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, 'He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along.]]> Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning.' Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.
'Oh no, my dear,' replied granny. 'Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong.'
She paused to wipe away a tear, and continued, 'He'd still be alive if the ice cream truck hadn't come along.]]> http://kisspub.com/Thread-Sexy-Butt Mon, 28 Sep 2009 17:52:18 +0200 http://kisspub.com/Thread-Sexy-Butt
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual.



The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."



The men left the doctor's office; each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.



While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.



His companions, somewhat shaken up, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words.



As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."]]>
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual.



The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, "If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die."



The men left the doctor's office; each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.



While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.



His companions, somewhat shaken up, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor's words.



As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, "If you bend over to pick that up, we're both dead."]]> http://kisspub.com/Thread-A-little-boy-and-a-little-girl Fri, 28 Aug 2009 19:30:56 +0200 http://kisspub.com/Thread-A-little-boy-and-a-little-girl Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.

He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?'
She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.'
'Why?' he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!'
'Let me see' he said.
'Okay' and she showed him.
He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.'
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said
to the little girl, 'I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!' She asked if she could look, so he showed her!

She said
'Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!!]]> Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich.

He said, 'Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?'
She said 'I love it but I have to stop eating it.'
'Why?' he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said 'Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!'
'Let me see' he said.
'Okay' and she showed him.
He looked and said, 'That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.'
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter. He said
to the little girl, 'I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!' She asked if she could look, so he showed her!

She said
'Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!!]]> http://kisspub.com/Thread-Second-Opinions Sat, 28 Mar 2009 20:24:18 +0200 http://kisspub.com/Thread-Second-Opinions

The bad new is that it will require castration. You have a very
rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and
the pressure creates one hell of a headache.


The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe
was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live
for.


He had no choice but to go under the knife.


When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first
time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important
part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt
like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a
new life.


He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need,
a new suit."


He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see, size
44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"


"Been in the business 60 years! "the tailor said. Joe tried
on the suit, it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the
mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a
moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's
see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, That's right, how
did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years.

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked,

"How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said,


"Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see, size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18
years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34
would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and
give you one hell of a headache."


New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS]]>

The bad new is that it will require castration. You have a very
rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and
the pressure creates one hell of a headache.


The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles." Joe
was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live
for.


He had no choice but to go under the knife.


When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first
time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important
part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt
like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a
new life.


He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need,
a new suit."


He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see, size
44 long."

Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"


"Been in the business 60 years! "the tailor said. Joe tried
on the suit, it fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the
mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a
moment and then said, "Sure." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's
see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck." Joe was surprised, That's right, how
did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years.

Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked,

"How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a moment and said,


"Sure."

The salesman said, "Let's see, size 36."

Joe laughed, "Ah ha! I got you, I've worn a size 34 since I was 18
years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. A size 34
would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and
give you one hell of a headache."


New suit - $400
New shirt - $36
New underwear - $6
Second Opinion - PRICELESS]]>